Many of us in ministry leadership are grieved by recent revelations of high-profile pastors who were discovered to have been unfaithful in their marriage. These discoveries continue to shock us and serve as a reminder that we are all in a battle against the flesh and the devil.
The overwhelming majority of pastors, however, are faithful to their wife and to the Lord who called them into the ministry. I had lunch with one of those pastors recently.
This faithful ministry leader has logged more than 50 years in full-time service to Christ and His people. He has been faithful to his wife and has been used widely to advance the gospel and strengthen churches. The good news for God’s people is that there are thousands of others just like him.
I observed five things this brother is doing that have helped him stay faithful:
1. He is answering God’s call: His ministry assignments have been numerous and diverse, but in each one he has responded to God’s leading and has said ‘yes’ to the Father’s role for him. One calling took him and his wife out of the country for several years while another moved him out of the pastorate into a ministry support role. Like most who have answered the call to ministry leadership, the call was to serve God in the place of His choosing and this brother has sought to do that faithfully.
2. He loves his wife and is faithful to her: During our meal together, he was visibly moved as he talked about his wife’s love for him and how he has grown in appreciation and affection for her over their decades together. I was moved as he shared that he is more excited about her today than he was when they first married and that he never wanted them to just settle in together. They have kept a spark in their marriage.
3. He faces his challenges with dependence on God: Ministry is tough. It is not mentally or physically more demanding than other professional occupations, but there is a spiritual warfare element to ministry leadership that may not be as pronounced in those other roles. This faithful brother has endured the challenges of being in ministry long term, including bodily illness, and has done so with grace. There is no hint of bitterness in his life.
4. He takes care of himself: This pastor’s preferred form of exercise is walking, and he does that daily. I once heard it said that we each need to find a form of exercise that we enjoy and that we can do into old age. He has done that, and it is paying off. Regular exercise has plenty of benefits, but for ministry leaders it provides the added value of a place to clear one’s mind and possibly recalibrate one’s perspective on their life and calling. Sometimes a long walk or a good nap is just what we need to continue in our work with a refreshed mindset.
5. He keeps a good attitude: Pastor and author Chuck Swindoll has written about attitude: “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It Is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstance, than failures, than successes, than what other people think.” Swindoll goes on to say, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” Maintaining a good attitude requires mental strenuousness to fight against negativity and maintain hopefulness even in challenging situations. This pastor has kept a good attitude.
When we are reminded about the moral failures of popular leaders it may be good to go spend time with a seasoned and faithful brother like the one described here. I left this visit wanting to love my wife more faithfully and complain less about the challenges of ministry.
